Random Articles
Your Love Defends Me
(Copyright 2017) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) I will sing about your strength.In the morning I will sing about your love.You are my defender, my place of safety in times of trouble.God, my strength, I will sing praises to you.God, my defender, you are the God who loves me.Psalm 59:16-17 NCV Have you ever heard the lyrics of a song and thought how well they described your life? I heard a new song this week by Matt Maher called “Your Love Defends me.” This song wrecked me! I apologize for all the personal stories, but I’d like to give you a glimpse […]
Immanuel’s Priceless Gift
(Copyright 00-00-2013) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) “One raw winter night a man heard an irregular thumping sound against the kitchen storm door. He went to a window and watched as tiny, shivering sparrows, attracted to the evident warmth inside, beat in vain against the glass. Touched, the farmer bundled up and trudged through the fresh snow to open the barn for the struggling birds. He turned on the lights, tossed some hay in the corner, and sprinkled a trail of saltine crackers to direct them to the barn. But the sparrows, which had scattered in all directions when he […]
How to be an Anchor in the Storm
(Copyright 2017) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) One of the reasons a battered woman is finally able to leave an abusive relationship is because she has someone who acts as her anchor in the storm. “For a battered woman, having an anchor can mean the difference between helplessness and empowerment to work toward a solution,” says Susan Brewster, author of “To be an Anchor in the Storm.” She compares the role of friends and relatives of battered women to the anchor of a ship. The anchor: * is made of the strongest steel which is able to withstand corrosive elements around it* […]
Celebrate!
(Copyright 2017) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) It is no wonder that I love you, O God.You have granted me a security that I could never find among the things of this world.You have erased from my life the fear of death.What follows the grave is not my fearful concern.The traumatic experiences of this life cannot destroy me.You are never out of reach but are ever aware of my problems and conflicts.How great and all-powerful is my God!This is the God who is concerned about me.He reaches into my distraught life to heal my wounds.He encompasses me with eternal love.He […]
Blessed to be a blessing
(Copyright 2017) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. Genesis 12:1-2 ESVMy friend, Todd Agnew, wrote a short devotional several years ago that has given me a different perspective on blessings from God. “God chose Abram to start the nation of Israel. He sent him away from his family, away from all that he […]
Beautifully Broken
(Copyright) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) 12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:12-14 NLT Paul was the first to admit he […]
Are You Afraid of Failure?
(Copyright) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) How does it feel to fail? You know all too well, don’t you—the sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach when you didn’t live up to your own or someone else’s expectations. You feel foolish and incompetent, discouraged and defeated. Cruel laughter and smug remarks from people who have no confidence in you ring in your ears and drown out the encouragement of well-meaning friends. You can see it in their eyes—an expression of sympathy and disappointment—if they dare to even look at you. You wish a hole in the floor would swallow you up […]
A Teenager’s Perspective
(Copyright) by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) A Teenager’s Perspective on Living in an Abusive Home “All children deserve a father they aren’t afraid of. All women deserve a partner they can trust. All abusive men deserve a chance to break the cycle of abuse they learned from their fathers.” This is the dream of most families who are struggling with dysfunctional and abusive relationships. I agree with this dream. I grew up in a home where my father was abusive. If this dream had been a reality when my family needed it, perhaps I would have a father I could respect, and […]
Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?
Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 The answer given in the 1920s to this question was that battered women were of low intelligence or mentally retarded. In the ’40s it was determined that women did not leave because they were masochistic.By the ’70s the experts claimed that a woman stayed in an abusive situation because she was isolated from friends and neighbors, had few economic resources, and was terrorized into a state of “learned helplessness” by repeated abuse.Experts spent time, energy, and government grants studying women and their problems, and by asking “why do women stay” they managed to […]
Walls
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright 2008 I have built a fortress around myself . . .to protect my emotionsto protect my self-esteemto protect my individualism This fortress will not allow me to share my heart with you, or express any affection toward you. It protects me from you. Once, before I built this wall, I trusted you completely—enough to pledge my life to you and my future. When you first wounded my spirit, I believed you when you told me it was my fault. Yes, I was naive, but I trusted you. I believed the lie—if I could look different and […]
What Does Domestic Violence Look Like?
Copyright © 2008 Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Domestic violence is “any behavior that is intended to control another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults”, according to Dr. Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. Domestic violence includes:Physical violence: slapping, hitting, burning, punching, choking, shoving, beating, throwing things, locking out, restraining, pushing, grabbing, twisting limbs, pinching, pulling out clumps of hair, etc. Emotional abuse: shaming, ridiculing, insulting, demeaning, name calling, threatening, withholding, manipulating, insulting, financial control, undermining, etc. Sexual abuse: rape, forcing reproductive decisions, forcing someone to […]
To Separate or Not to Separate
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 Most pastors and marriage counselors recommend that a couple stay together to work out major conflicts. Their rationale is that issues are best dealt with face-to-face instead of at a distance, with two people working together to come to a mutual understanding. This is true in most safe relationships. However, in an abusive situation, it is sometimes healthy and wise to separate, with the separation having a structure and a goal for the restoration of the relationship, if at all possible. If you are in a 15-round prize fight, there’s nothing wrong […]
Signs That He Has Changed
Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 He is willing to wait however long it takes for her trust in him to be rebuilt and does not pressure her to forgive or reconcile until she is ready.He does not say or do things that threaten or frighten her.He listens to and respects her opinion, even if he disagrees.She can express anger or frustration toward him without being punished or abused.He respects her “no” in all situations, including physical contact.He does not prevent her from spending time with friends and family and does not punish her later.He is willing to continue […]
Profile of a Victim
Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 Although battered women may exhibit some of the characteristics in the list below, the one element that is shared by all victims is FEAR! A woman is more likely to be killed when she tries to leave than at any other time. The abuser may also threaten to hurt or kill family members or friends who try to help the victim. Besides living in fear for her own safety and that of her family, a battered woman fears being homeless and unable to provide for her children, as well as threats by the […]
Invisible Wounds That Scar the Soul
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 “Yelling at living things does tendto kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts . . .” Robert Fulghum It is difficult for a man who punches a woman or throws her into a wall to not know that he is an abuser. It is equally difficult for a woman who sustains a black eye and body bruises not to know she has been abused, although both of them find rationales to avoid reality.However, the subtle manifestations of nonphysical abuse usually escape acknowledgement—at least for a […]
The Difference Between True Repentance and Temporary Regret
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 In the story of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, there were two men who were sorry for their actions—Peter and Judas. Peter truly loved Jesus and boasted that he would even die for him if necessary. However, when Jesus was arrested and taken to the house of the high priest for a trial based on trumped-up charges, Peter’s resolve crumbled at the first taunt from a servant girl who recognized him as one of Jesus’ followers. Peter boasted a bit too loudly and trusted in his own strength to get him out […]
How To Spot a Batterer Before the Relationship Begins
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 The following red flags are characteristics of an abuser. This does not mean that everyone who demonstrates one or two of these qualities will end up abusing or battering their partners. However, these red flags should be taken seriously. If someone you know demonstrates one or two of these patterns on a consistent basis, he has the potential to become a batterer. Superior attitude toward women. Does he think men are superior to women? Does he feel he “owns” you and has the right to control your thoughts and actions? Does he talk about women in […]
Two Men
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2000 Two men died that day.Both were guilty. One had the heart of a foolHe was never wrong—always had the last word.He trusted in his own heart,And took pride in doing things “his” way. He blamed others for his misfortunes . . .If they had just treated him better,He wouldn’t be in this situation.It wasn’t his fault! He would rather die than admit he needed help. The other man had a teachable heart.He knew he had made wrong choices,And was ashamed of the person he had become. He wanted to change,But lacked the […]
Fear
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © September 2000 I am a prisoner . . .confined not by bars or locked doorsbut by harsh words and raised fists. I am just a few steps away from the open door of freedombut fear holds me back. Fear that his opinion of me may be true . . .That I might really be stupid and unfit.Fear that I will fail on my ownand face his sneers of contempt as he watches me struggle. Fear that no one else will ever love meor comfort me when I’m lonely and afraid.Even though he often […]
Are You Sick and Tired?
By Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © October 2007 “Are you tired of the way the world is turning? Are you tired of the way your life has gone? Do you long for some joy instead of weeping?” As I heard those words being sung, I wanted to stand up and shout with great passion, “Yes! Yes, I’m tired and I’m not going to take it anymore!” I’m tired of the evil in this world—evil that threatens, slaps and punches; evil that hurls missiles of verbal abuse; evil that delights in dominating and demeaning others in order to make oneself feel more […]
Cobras & Pit Bulls
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2003 All Rights Reserved
All Abuse Hurts
by Brenda Branson (Hanson, Kentucky) Copyright © 2004 All Rights Reserved Most people think “abuse” is just physical attacks such as hitting, punching, kicking, pulling hair, twisting limbs, pinching, slapping, biting, etc.There are many other types of abusive behavior which hurt just as much or more than physical abuse. Just because an abuser stops hitting his spouse doesn’t mean he has stopped being abusive. Here are other varieties of abuse which are just as destructive as physical abuse: Emotional Abuse—Name-calling, mind games, “crazy-making,” belittling, shaming, extreme manipulation, coercion. · Economic Abuse—Withholding money as punishment and making partner beg for necessities, demanding […]